I received a commission from our
liege, Emperor Otto the 2nd. He has asked me to write about the late
Queen Mathilda’s life. At first I wished to refuse. Not only was the wound
which her death brought me still fresh, but I a lowly priest and servant of our
Lord am unworthy to write about such a glorious and holy person as her. Even
with these immediate thoughts circling my head, I accepted the commission because
the request came from her grandson.
I did not know how to even begin
writing about her life. I only met her a few times in her life span. Before I
first met her, I heard of her ferocity in taking care of the less fortunate and
her unbinding faith in our Lord. I was intrigued to hear of such a woman at
first but I should have known that she was unlike any woman before her. The day
I met her had changed my life. Suddenly I understood those poems and songs sung
about love. Though I could never be as worthy as a man such as King Henry I
imagine he held the same feelings as I when he first laid eyes on her.
My eyes were truly not worthy of
the beauty they gazed upon the first day I saw her. It was winter and I was
told she was giving out blankets on one had to fear the cold. The first thing I
noticed was the way her eyes twinkled like the stars that lead traveling men
home. Her cheeks were flushed and delicate like that of rose petals. Her
flustered cheeks revealed to me just how long she stood in the cold. It was
during those moments of uncharacteristic admiring that she had looked at me. My
body became frozen with rigid anticipation, but immediately melted away with
the small upturn of her lips that resulted in a smile equivalent to the warmth
of a thousand suns. She then turned around and walked back into the monastery. As
she walked away I thought angels wings as white and pure as the untouched snow
would emerge. It would be after her marriage and birth of her firstborn I laid
eyes on her again.
I knew I would never deserve her.
In truth I believed no mortal man would either. King Henry was a good man and I
delighted when I heard the news that someone as worthy as Queen Mathilda would
rule, but a small part of me was not. It was at that time in my life I came to
the stark realization I may be coveting another’s wife. It came with wisdom and
years later I had realized that I did not covet her but only thought that she
was a holy being that no mortal man should truly possess. It was truly a
treasonous thought toward the king.
When I saw her next she had fire
in her eyes. She witnessed the starving and homeless and determinedly walked to
the edge of the tower and threw bread to those down below. I was amazed at what
I had witnessed. The bread never broke and fell into the lap she determined it
to go to. I had always believed that she had the grace of God on her side but
my belief was sanctified with the light of the miracle before my eyes. It was
through later years I had heard from a passing abbess of another miracle of
hers involving a deer.
I was not surprised when I had
heard of the achievements of the royal heirs for they were her children. No
child born of her could be anything but beautiful, godly and kind. I knew our
Lord had plans for her and I suffered as she suffered when he tested her. I
cried in anguish when I had heard the rumors that were spread and the rights
she was given stripped from her. When I
asked of her well being all had told me in awe of how strong and confident she
remained. Even with her title taken from her she still was a Queen. Even when I
laid in my bed at night filled with apprehension, she remained believing that what
God has done was done for a reason. If she were the Eve born of Adam she would
never have fallen into temptation and exiled from the garden. She remained
poised with humility, kindness, and strength even in her death.
I could never truly tell her
story with the praise she deserves.
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