Why I, Elizabeth I of England, Never Married

by Allison Levy
 
Queen Elizabeth was the only child of King Henry VIII of England and his wife, Anne Boleyn. Forced away from the kingdom for her own safety after the death of her mother, Elizabeth was raised with a love of books, language and knowledge. It is from this that one of the greatest monarchs was born, for Elizabeth ruled for forty-five years. She was a woman of strength and power, and she ruled without a man by her side. As one of the most remembered woman in history, was the fact that she lived a celibate life without the influence of a husband her secret to her great success?   

I was born into the Tudor monarchy, and by that birthright I am a princess and a queen of England. My father was the renowned Henry VIII of England, and my mother was Anne Boleyn, the famed woman who kept the King’s interest until he made her his queen. I have lived through most of the disastrous marriages that my father has been through, and I have seen that women are used as pawns in the games referred to as “love” and “marriage”, while whores are just used for sex. There is not a true middle ground between love, sex, and marriage; for you are either being used or you are the user for gain of power. Sexuality is used as a weapon to hold over kings, as my mother has justly proved, and I for one am not going to take part in this type of hoax. I would like to speak to you now about why I do not crave a man in my life to call husband, and why the only marriage that I will commit myself to will be between the English Kingdom and myself.

My father, Henry VIII, had a total of six wives. Some he married for love, others for country, and some just for rowdy sex. When a woman displeased him or was not what he wanted for his bed, he got rid of her. Divorce or beheading was his weapon of choice for this task, and most women found themselves without their heads buried six feet under. My mother, Anne, was a woman who was courted by the king for seven years before he put a crown on her head. He wrote her letters, sent her gifts, and wooed her in all possible ways until she finally became his fully, as his wife and as his sexual conquest. Even a love that was so strong such as this caused pain, for his wife of twenty-five years; Catherine of Aragon was tossed aside and was never able to see her only living child again. She died alone and never saw her true husband again, for he was too busy cuddling up with my mother, who at that time was known throughout the lands as the King’s whore.

My mother knew how to play a man for power. Her own uncle and father used her for their own personal gain, and she learned how to manipulate the king in the same ways that they manipulated her. It all seems rather exhausting to me if you think about it. My mother was not a dumb woman. She knew that giving into the King’s desires for sex, she would lose him as soon as he grew tired of her body. Instead, she mentally played him. She used her words, her body, and her ideals to cause my father to fall in love with her. What ultimate sealed the deal for their relationship was when my mother promised the King what he most desired: a son to rein and take over the Tudor monarchy. (Sorry Dad, but I think things still turned out well for this daughter of yours. 45 years can attest to that!) My father knew that for the good of England, to have a legitimate son he had to marry my mother, and therefore he agreed to not sleeping with her right away, for things were going to be done properly for the good of England. They were celibate for some time, but my mother did give in to my father before the wedding, for my mother was seven months pregnant with me during her coronation.

Because my mother was able to use sex as a weapon over my father, she was able to become the crowned Queen of England. My father was obsessed with her for nearly seven years before the marriage was official, and this to me illuminates just how powerful sex and marriage can be. Sex is a weapon that when withheld or granted can be used for the advantage of another, while marriage can be seen as the ultimate prize of power. My father gave up a lot of power to my mother, letting her help to sway him in creating his own church of England, as well as divorcing his first wife, Catherine of Aragon. My mother was the only woman who ever talked back to the King, and was the only woman who exerted her power over him, and almost was able to get away with it.

When my mother displeased him, not being able to give him more children and being accused of witchcraft and not being faithful to my father, she was beheaded and the Boleyn family was ruined. No matter what kind of “love” was there, in truth, it could not save my mother from her horrid fate. My mother, my uncle, and some other members who were accused of having an affair with the King’s wife were all sentenced to death by beheading. I was sent away from my father, for he was getting rid of everything that had to do with my mother, burning her letters and taking away her portraits and name plates, that people feared for my safety that he would get rid of me too. This was a man that for seven years craved nothing more than to be with my mother, physically, mentally, and eternally. He proved his love for her with his words, his actions of raising her family in the ranks of courtly power, and by marrying her and crowning her his Queen. It seems to me that marriage lasts only as long as the man is happy. My mother saw my father having affairs and struck out against him, but the relationship was only over when my father called the shots. Of course men always hold great power, especially a king, but my mother was a powerful woman, and to know that her life was taken by her husband who was displeased strikes a chord within my soul that I shall never be able to ignore.

My father did not waste any time in finding a new wife. In fact, he was already courting her when my mother was still by his side. As a king he had many mistresses to please him sexually, and a wife to rule by his side. Even with a wife, a woman like my mother who pleased him in multiple ways, he still forced her aside for newer and younger pleasures. When my father’s next wife, Jane, passed away after giving birth to a son, my father was heartbroken and would see no one. This was strange, for the emotions that my father had for this woman seemed to be genuinely based on love. I always thought that it was because she gave him a son, but I also think that he was so heartbroken by this loss because they were not married long enough for him to grow tired of her and seek happiness outside of the marriage bed. To me, the love that my father would give would be based on the pleasures he was feeling in the moment. Once that moment passed, and a woman whom he had never seen before walked by, everything changed, his happiness depended on her, and the feelings of love would follow until the next colored skirt walked by. It didn’t seem real or genuine to me because it was not something that was to last long term. Most people think that it was Jane who was the only woman my father ever truly loved, for she gave him a legitimate son and when he died he wanted to be laid to rest next to her. I can see this as a legitimate thought process, but again, I think it was all in the timing, for he was not able to be bored with her in the short timespan of their marriage.

 The only reason why my father had to take a fourth wife now was because England demanded it. They wanted to see the King with a wife and a Queen by his side. This is interesting that the people but such an emphasis on seeing a man who was a ruler as a married man. This in my opinion is due to the fact that if he did not have a wife, his time would be spent whoring around full time rather than taking care of his country. A man with a wife does not have to worry about the time it would take to find one, and can focus completely on the jobs and tasks that are at hand for his country and for his people.  My father’s confidantes and counselors tricked him into marrying a woman whom he would not have chosen on his own because of her diplomacy. Another use for a woman was to use her for everything she was worth, including her family names and titles.

 My father only went through with the marriage for his people, but he could not make it work because he did not find her sexually attractive enough to keep as a wife.  This spoke volumes to me, that my father had to have a woman by his side as queen and wife that he could find sexually attractive, no matter what it meant for England. This means that his own personal pleasures came before the needs of England. He is always remembered as saying he could not marry her because “she looks like a horse!” My father the King of England, was only concerned with the shallow appearance of the face and body of a woman. His counselors chose her for my father because her family would provide support and safety in case of a war between England against the newly formed alliance of France and Spain. He could not see that this would be a great match, because he could not see a sexual future, and he did not want to be seen as having an ugly wife. As it turns out, my father did end up loving this woman, but more so as a sister. She would come to court for holidays, and my sister Mary and I would visit with her often. In my opinion, she was the only wife of my father who was able to live a long and happy life, for she was away from the life of the court, with her settlement from the divorce, living a peaceful country life with the blessing of a friendly king. My father was not a dumb man, and he looked out for his people and kept them happy and safe, but this was only as long as he was happy in bed with a woman who could pleasure him and produce heirs.

I saw this come to light with my father’s next marriage. She was a girl who had just turned seventeen, a woman in her sexual prime. My father was in his fifties, and it was more than obvious that he wanted her for her sex, for he was ill at the time and often claimed that the sex he was having with his young wife was a type of medicine that took away his pain and kept him young. She became queen by default because she was a young hot thing who pleased him sexually, but she also ended up in the ground without a head when she displeased him. His next wife he married for the company, to have a woman at his side that had been widowed before and understood that she needed to take care of him as well as help out with matters of state. She was a woman whom my father could see helping not only him but also the country, and this is what really mattered. She was able to outlive my father and marry for love.

It seems to me that growing up with a father like Henry VIII that I would have a poor example of what a healthy marriage would be, and I was able to learn and grow from it. My mother died at the command of my father because she no longer pleased him. As a woman who holds power over matters of state, I vow to never let a man hold that kind of power over me, and therefore over my people. As Queen to my people, it is my duty to keep them safe, and this is why the only marriage that I agree to is between my Kingdom and myself. I took this honor when I was crowned queen, and no man shall come between the needs of my people and the state of England. I gave a statement to my people to tell them this, stating

“But now that the publick Care of governing the Kingdom is laid upon me, to draw upon me also the Cares of Marriage may seem a point of inconsiderate Folly. Yea, to satisfie you, I have already joyned my self in Marriage to an Husband, namely, the Kingdom of England. And behold the Pledge of this my Wedlock and Marriage with my Kingdom”  (Monarchy and Matrimony: The Courtships of Elizabeth I)

I even had a ring, which I engraved that I give myself to the marriage of my kingdom. I was born with a responsibility to my people, and I have seen what happens when a person of power is consumed by their need for lust and love and marriage, and I have chosen to ignore it. Why bring myself to go through torture of the heart and manipulation of the mind, all while taking my eyes off of the prize that is my dear English kingdom. This is unacceptable to me.

            Many people did not agree with my idea of living the single life, and this I can have an understanding of. Without a husband there are not heirs to follow the line of succession, but for me, a life of celibacy was all that I wanted. Many tried to petition me into marriage, but why would I ever give up my own powers as Queen of England to marry a man who will then become King and forever outrank me. No silly excuses of love or sexual desires would be worth this. I have seen what desires of the body had done to my father, and I would never wish to let them control me in the ways in which they controlled him. Some may think that I am doing my people a disservice by not being wed in holy matrimony, but to me it is an extraordinary act that keeps me at my purest self for my people. I was dedicated to my realm, and the choice to remain single was of my own will.

            With the traumatic childhood I was forced to endure due to my father’s need for constant sexual companionship in terms of a wife, it is no wonder I am against the institution of marriage. It is not real, for it is something in which the man has power to abuse and even kill the woman if she does not please him. That is a lot of unnecessary pressure, and my job as Queen of England is hard enough with pleasing the people, I do not have time to also worry about a husband. My uncle, who would come in with my stepmother and sexually arouse himself and use me to pleasure them, also sexually abused me as a child. This is another reason why marriage is not in the cards for me. Sex is a tool, a weapon that people can use against other people. Some may find the joys from it, but it is purely an act of relieving the body of desire. There does not have to be love for this to happen, and in some cases there does not even need to be consent from both parties. It is an act that I can live without having to do quite happily, and therefore marriage is not a necessity to have pleasures of the body.

            I am a woman who is clearly against marriage. I would not have a desire for my ladies in waiting to get married, nor would I approve of marriages easily. It is an institution that I find to be a joke. There is not love that lasts a lifetime, and there are not any pleasures to be found in sex that would make losing yourself to a man worthwhile. Therefore, marriage is an irrelevant concept, and one that I do not need to waste my time on. Many people accuse me of being damaged by my childhood, and that this is the reason why I am so against matrimony. On some level this could be a fair statement, but what is even fairer is that I have learned from everything that I have lived through that marriage is not real, love does not exist, and that sex can be used as a weapon. My father “loved” my mother, and killed her. He married a woman who was more than thirty years younger than he to use her for sexual pleasures at all hours of the day and night, and finally married a woman who could just help him with matters of state. He tossed woman around like candy being thrown out during a parade, and used them for everything that they were worth. I refuse to be used. I refuse to let a man take control over my body and of my decisions. I choose to take care of the people of England, for this is what I am on the thrown to do.