The tale that is as old as time is
when a man falls in love with a woman and is able to woo her into happily ever
after. For those of you who believe in magic, this article is for you, for you
need a serious wakeup call. A fairy godmother will not pop up and make all of
your dreams come true, nor will it be only a kiss that will make a woman fall
in love with you and cause a need to be married ASAP. What every fairytale
makes you forget about is WORDS. They speak louder than actions and they carry
more weight. Guys, all you need to do is talk to her, and you can sweep her off
her feet. (Please, put that poison apple away, it will not help matters)
Andreas Capellanus himself even states that“ an elaborate line of talk on the
part of the lover usually sets love’s arrows a flying and creates a presumption
in favor of the excellent character of the speaker.” (35) So with this in mind,
a baby dressed in a diaper is not going to shoot an arrow and have a woman
magically fall for you. You have the power to do that yourself with your own
words!
So, you are a prince who is used to
getting everything that he wants, and now you want the blonde that is across
the ballroom. Great, step one done you chose your love and it only took you a
glance in her direction, so we know this is going to last. What happens next?
You need to make the first move and strike up a conversation with the lady. If
you do not acknowledge her, she will not know that she is now a target on your
radar screen. So let’s get this show on the road. Put your swagger in check, an
arrogant walk leads to arrogant talk and love and arrogance are not friends.
Andreas Capellanus suggests that you should “greet her in (your) usual way” and
that “they should not immediately begin talking about love, for it is only with
concubines that men begin in that way” (36).
This is a great rule to follow, for you do not want the love of your
life to think that you are only trying to get in her skirts. You love her don’t
you? Work your way up to the dirty stuff, for this isn’t that kind of article…
You have to show a lady some
respect. Greet her kindly, and like a gentleman. Ask her about herself, her
day, and get to know her. If you come right out and say something like “Hi, I
saw you from across the room and I think I love you”, not only does that make
you come across as someone to run away from, but it also comes along with a
stench of desperation. In these days, we shower, often, so having any kind of
stench is not ok. You want to come across as calm, cool, and collected, no
matter how strong your insides are churning because she blushed when you looked
her way. Stay calm my friend, you have been graced by her attention, so let’s
move on and try and keep this from turning ugly.
So you picked her out of a crowd,
you said hello, now how is it that you seal this deal with a happily ever
after? Flirt! Be demure, but alluring, available, yet allusive, and try and
keep her guessing. Show off how smart you are (unless she is dumb, then you
might want to go back to the beginning and pick out the girl she was standing
next to or something, leave the world a better place than we came) and let her
know that you are looking to impress her. This shows that you care what she
thinks, and in her mind she can see that you have elevated her to someone who
makes a difference. That is a powerful thing my friend, run with it.
To make sure that the magic moment
that you created is real and not just all in your head, (because let’s face it,
in the past we usually wake up after this moment, don’t we?) let’s see if you
can get a phone number for a follow up date. If she is picking up what you are
throwing out there, then she will let you contact her again. Now, there are two
different ways to approach this. The first one being that you could slip her
your number, with a “call me maybe” kind of facial expression. This leads you
down a path that is not always the best and brightest. With you giving out your
number, you have just relinquished all of the cards over to her. She can win
the whole game just by passing your number on to the nearest trashcan, and you
are left with your phone attached to your hand, waiting for the screen to light
up and tell you that she cares too. If you are too afraid to make the first
move or you want her to be the one to say, “yes, I like you too” by texting you
with “Hey, how’s it going?” then this is a move for you. Just be aware that you
could be waiting by the phone for days, feeling the fantasy vibration in your
pants at all hours of the day, and it might be a sensation that never comes to
be. Just a friendly warning, especially for you anxious people who need to
constantly be rewarded right away.
The second way that we can roll the
dice is to ask her for her number. Take out your phone and ask her for hers.
You will know right away, for she will either give it up or say no. Easy as
that. If you are still not convinced when she gives you some digits, here is a
trick. Read the number back to her, but mess up one of the numbers. Chances
are, if she gave you a fake number in the first place, she won’t correct you
when you give her a bad one back. If she does correct you, then you most likely
have the real thing, just make sure that you save that contact! Now you hold
all of the power! She is left to sit by the phone, wondering if you really want
to follow up with her or if you are just another jerk at the ball. Now you have
left her to stew in her own thoughts. This is perfect, for women over-think
everything! She will wonder if you really like her or not, causing her to
question her own self, and wondering if she is good enough for you. This will
make her want you, NEED you to call her and see her again. This is almost a
guarantee that you will be on her mind all the time, and she might even build
you up into a better man than you already are, causing her to want you even
more. Give it 24 hours, or if you really can’t wait because your love is just
too dang strong, then text her when you get home and tell her that she looked
beautiful, that you were so happy that you met her, and wish her a goodnight.
Instant smile on her face, guaranteed!
Just to be on the safe side…….Get a
couple of dates under your belt with her. For all you know, she is insane and
is ready to bring you down with her, like the Titanic you just won’t stand a
chance. If you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, make
sure that she is the one that you want. Looks can be deceiving, and you want to
make sure that the woman that you are with is kind, has a good heart, and can
be the mother to the kids that you may or may not want to have. I know life is
short and we all want instantaneous happiness, but forcing it is not the
answer. Get to know her outside of the bedroom and ask yourself if this is the
woman who you can see yourself waking up next to every single day for the rest
of your life. If that thought alone gives you anxiety, back away slowly. Love
does not have to happen right away. Unlike the troubadour poets, you do not
have to look at one woman and think that she is your everything. But if this
woman is it for you, congratulations.
Well done. Steps one through three
are complete, the one thing you have to remember to do is to TALK to her.
Remember that words have a power over the human mind that we just cannot
understand. Let her know that you are there for her as a person, that you care
about her wellbeing, and maybe open a few doors for her too, chivalry does not
have to be dead, let’s revive that great practice! When you actively engage a
woman with your words, your thoughts, and your ideas, than you are created a
strong bond that lives outside of the world of physical attraction. This is
something that will carry you so much further in life that just the shallows of
a tidal pool of looks, for you are now creating a strong and lasting
relationship that you can build on for years and years to come. Do not let yourself
get tongue-tied. Relax, take a deep breath, and think before you speak. Let the
magic of your thoughts be your guide to the happily ever after that you always
dreamed of, for the fairy godmother is away on a cruise and is not able to
answer your calls at this time. Be her prince or her knight in shining armor,
and prove to her that this is who you are with the evidence that is your words.
You got this you handsome man. Now go out there, and go get her, and congratulations
on your happily ever after.
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