This guide is intended for those
new queens who find themselves in the uncomfortable position of not being able
to fill their rightful place as queen, due to their stubborn, unrelinquishing
mothers-in-law.
It
is not uncommon to find that one’s mother-in-law has difficulty leaving the
position of power as queen upon the death of her husband. This will be
problematic for you as the new queen. As your husband rises to the role of
king, you will be given a set of important responsibilities, such as working
with the chamberlain, forging important relationships with courtiers and
religious leaders, and handling most palace matters on behalf of the king. But
if the dowager queen holds on to her role, as well as your husband, all you
will be left with is producing children. Perhaps you are thinking “Well, less
work for me!” But keep in mind that if she is controlling your husband, then she
will control your children’s lives as well. In addition to your husband, your
sons are your lifeline to power. You must work hard to secure their positions
as future kings and leaders, which will secure your own position as well. So if
the dowager controls your sons and what happens to them, she ultimately
will control what happens to you. If the problem wasn’t clear before, it is
now. This guide, then, will help you subtly knock her off her pedestal while
creating your own.
The
most important tool in your possession is your proximity to the king. You are in
a unique position that is accessible to no one, including his mother – you
have his ear at the end of the day. This is where the process of prying her
fingers off him will begin. In the privacy of your chambers together, once
everyone has gone, you will be making small observations. For example, “Your
mother gives so much of her wealth to the church. What a generous woman--but where
does it all come from?” Perhaps you will be lucky and she will favor another
son, a circumstance you can exploit by bringing this to your husband’s
attention; “Your mother dotes on your brother like Mathilda did on her Henry, which
must make you poor Otto.” These small comments, which seem harmless, will lodge
in his mind, and will lead him to see where his mother is being vexing. This is crucial to removing her from power.
These comments will quietly whittle away at their relationship, but not
completely destroy it. More importantly your husband will believe he is drawing
important conclusions about her meddling in his affairs on his own. It is
excruciatingly important for him to believe her removal is his idea, and it
will never be traced back to you.
If
these comments have been received well (and by "well" I mean your husband is
beginning to truly seeing how obnoxious it is to have his mother controlling
every second of every day), then proceed with the next step.
An important element of your role as queen is
to build close relationships with powerful people, which you will utilize in
the future. The dowager definitely has a large, powerful retinue of loyal
subjects. You must begin to generate your own coterie of allies. Providing
gifts and favors is the most efficient way of doing so. Offer help to anyone in
need whether it be money or procuring time with his majesty. These favors will
be large, but store them up like a small animal, because winter will come and
you can call on them for support. If your mother-in-law is maddening enough to
utilize this guide, then she will most likely have many supporters in the
religious community, as well as being a pillar of piety herself. You must conduct
yourself like this as well, creating a balance between being an obedient wife
and devoted to God on a level comparable to Radegund. These powerful friends
and your high religiosity will not only protect you, but be an important thing
you pass down to your children.
The
most important ally of any queen is the chamberlain. Working intimately with him
is crucial to executing the inner workings of the palace. Being on good terms
with this man is highly advised. Guaranteed the old bag has him wrapped around
her finger right next to your husband. This has to end. You must be
orchestrating palace life because it is your domain. The king will handle
matters of the kingdom and you a responsible for organizing things at home, so
the he does not have to waste energy there. Otherwise you are not truly the
queen. If you can, slowly begin winning him over, as well as interjecting
yourself into arrangements. If this seems highly unlikely, then his removal all
together may be necessary. This will be as difficult as removing the dowager.
Strategically begin questioning his ability, as well as worth, to the king. Hopefully
by now your husband is seriously aggravated with his mother thanks to your
observations, and if he is close to the dowager, then he must be a part of her
schemes, and the two can be removed together.
If
you have made it successfully to this point, well done. By now your husband is
thoroughly doubting his mother’s loyalty, and seriously considering forcing her
to retire to some abbey. You should be cultivating many friends in high places,
and working closely with the present chamberlain or training your new one. The
final shove will be isolating the Dowager, so that once she leaves the
position of power she is in, she can never regain it. Part of this will be
removing her wealth. Once it in your husband’s head, as well as other important
men, that she is hiding her wealth, they will want to confiscate it. Completely
support this decision. Once this critical assets is taken from her, she will be
less attractive to those people who have supported her in the past.
Additionally, all those who you have assisted will not want to cross you either
- now that they owe you so much, they would hate to ruin their good relations
with the queen. When this all falls together she will be left with no choice
but to relinquish her position as to avoid leaving in disgrace. Finally, make
perfect arrangements for her to retire to a nice abbey far, far away.
An important note - never be nasty
or cruel. This is not about hatred or victory (well, maybe a little). Rather, it is
about gaining your rightful position at your husband’s side. Do not make an ass
of yourself like Theophanu, bragging about making Adelheid a nobody. If you
assume that your success is guaranteed, it most certainly will come back
to bite you. Remember, a day will come when another young queen will be
thinking about how she can usurp your power, so you can either bow out of power
nicely or remember these instruction and cut her off at every turn. If you
subtly plan and are never openly annoyed or
publicly disrespectful of the dowager, by the time she suspects anything of
your coup, it will be too late and everything will be set into motion.
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