Digital love is a certain suffering derived from obsessive stalking of attractive women’s Instagram profiles. It is clear that this love is suffering because it is impossible to ever find these perfect creatures in such flattering poses, or hold or kiss the body that you fixate upon, as they exist only in perfected and edited images. Nor will her voice sound as sweet, her words so charming and her laugh so alluring as the ideal of her in your mind’s eye. In fact, suffering would only be increased upon actual meeting because of this inevitable disappointment.
However, this is not to say that you should make no effort to pursue them. A digital love can fulfill you in ways that a “live” love cannot; they will not scorn you for your poverty or poor looks, as you, too, have the power to manipulate the perception of these as they manipulate their looks. What’s more, you can have endless digital loves because each takes so little time to care for; and each can be perfectly suited to a different romantic need of yours, as you may construct them in your head as you like. A sweet girl balances out against a sultry one, a scholarly woman and a whimsical fairy.
To initiate the pursuit of this love, a noble gentleman must first begin by “liking” her photos. He should not like every single photo; a lover must plan his expenditures of likes so that they remain gifts and compliments with value, rather than a routine and unmemorable prod. He shows his dedication to her by tagging his friends in the comments section of her photo, perhaps with a comment like: “smokeshow,” “dime,” or simply, “ 🔥”; this way, he claims his woman, and makes his admiration known to both his friends and to his beloved. Digital love is not private in its nature; its purpose is not only to fulfill personal desire, but also to increase perceived online social standing.
The next step in garnering his love’s heart is to send her a direct message. It is true that a minute may feel like a whole hour, essentially eternity in our instant-age, but alas, she is playing coy. Perhaps she may even “leave you on read,” and view your message without responding. Do not despair; even if she does not answer, this gives you more opportunity to love her more purely for admiration of her figure than anything more meaningful, such as witty banter.
In the case that your digital love does respond, the next step is to carry out a conversation that does not necessarily result in ever meeting, because it is likely logistically impractical. Nonetheless, this level of contact— the ever-looming potential but mutually understood impossibility of meeting and becoming live loves— is the step at which you have consummated this digital love.
You can have digital loves and live loves at the same time; your digital love, unlike your live love, will never disappoint you, will always make you feel like a king, only showing you her best sides and most sumptuous smiles. She will never reject you; she only could not be with you because she is so far away, locked behind the screen— though she looks out at you with a gaze that assures you that were she next to you in bed, you’d never come out alive. Oftentimes, we say that your digital love is the mind’s escape for your live love, who will eventually disappoint you. Your digital love, in other words, is not unlike the role of a fairy tale goddess of heroic fantasies of love, lust, and adventure that were passed down centuries ago. In truth, we all should have a digital love and a live love— only an enhanced version of the substitutes we have had for ourselves all along.
This is a really clever commentary upon (or re-vamp of?) Andreas's text. I'm particularly struck by the way that our notion of the "virtual" stands against Andreas's reflections on inwardness and interiority. Nice job!
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