Guillaume and Françoise, a troubadour and troubaritz who have been recently married, exchange flamboyant verses while arguing over household chores.
Guillaume
After many a verse I croon at court,
I long for my loving lady’s support,
On the way to our chamber, I am flush with glee,
For her sweet embrace to welcome me.
Françoise
Before our betrothal, when my friend would clamor
And sing to me, I became enamored
But after a year in the marriage bed,
The magic is lost, my feelings are dead.
Guillaume
Hearken, wife! I have missed you so,
More than angels or prophets or kings could know
What have you prepared for us this night,
To dine on and drink to our hearts’ delight?
Françoise
Is this, Guillaume, a proper greeting,
To ask me at first what it is we are eating?
A lady of my stature deserves respect,
Asking me of my day, you always neglect.
Guillaume
Ladies are awful and all the same,
They torture me with their constant blame.
This one of mine is hardly able
To put a decent meal on the table.
I suspected that marriage might dampen my passion,
Public consummation of love is quite out of fashion,
But like the nightingale who finds new trees to nest,
I thought I would give Godly union a test.
Françoise
And what of your care for this chamber, my spouse?
You are not so clean as a plague-ridden mouse.
Your vestments are scattered all over, admit
Your braies on the chaise, all stained with your shit?
I once had a life as a singer in court,
Where I would pursue men steadfastly for sport.
And now I am here, scrubbing your garments,
You ungrateful, vulgar, detestable varmint.
Guillaume
At court, there is a lady I shall not name
Who all the day I flatter in vain
The secret exchanges we share mean little,
Since the day I, to you, made my committal.
Her beauty unlike any other I’ve seen
Her lovely eyes, a brilliant green.
Would I were with her, it is fairly plain
She would treasure me, not like you who complain
Françoise
How dare you continue to whisper with ladies?
My rotten husband, you will wind up in Hades.
Meanwhile I’m stuck here with nothing to do
But read and clean and wait on you.
You don’t think I still wish to sing to valorous men?
And capture their fancy with the stroke of a pen?
My songs have always been better than yours
You spew half-baked rhymes to undignified whores.
Guillaume
Why don’t we retire to our bed, my fair wife?
Let us rediscover the joys in our life.
I want to embrace you with all of my being,
Our fleshly union will be splendid and freeing.
Françoise
If you think I’ll embrace you this eve, then you’re dreaming,
You’re dreadful and glib and with pride you are teeming.
Have you not yet realized you’re terribly boring?
All you offer in bed is your repulsive snoring.
Guillaume
Alas, my lady, I am completely spent,
I cannot any longer handle this torment.
Let us slumber and put ourselves out of our misery,
For love after marriage disappears to the periphery.
Françoise
For once, Guillaume, we are in agreement,
Our standpoints are clear, and our passions are vehement.
Let us dream of the time when we longed to be together,
When our souls were unburdened, light as a feather.
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