“Oh, stupid man!” the giant slurred, his misshapen, gray face contorting around what was left of his mouth. “What presumption has overcome you, that you are courting death? That’s not bright.” Massive fingers dug into the corners of the paved road, pulling up a slab of rock three times Iwein’s size and hurling it towards him. Iwein narrowly dodged the rock, dashing behind a tree for cover. “Whoever counseled you to do this doesn’t want you to live and—count on it— only wants to exact revenge on you for something you did to him.” The giant taunted, cooing. Iwein could hear the thumping of massive footfalls coming ever closer to the thicket. “And he’s getting a good revenge, because I’ll soon fix things so that you’ll never again do him either evil or good.”
The footfalls stopped. In the tense silence, Iwein began to speak. “Knight what’s the point of these threats? Skip the malicious talk and get down to business, or I’d be more likely to fear a dwarf, for all your huge size—” his invective was cut off, as a massive hand gripped around the tree, turning the strong oak Iwein had hidden behind into little more than a pile of splinters.
Iwein heard a roar, as his lion leapt onto the giant’s back and began to tear at his flesh. He heard, too, the thrum of magic in the air, as the giant cast a spell upon him. With a sound like ripping cloth, Iwein’s world went dark; and he was falling, falling, falling through the darkness. Then, a flash of light, a blur of color, and the crack of impact with hard earth. Iwein slept.
Iwein awoke to sounds he thought he’d never hear again: courtly argument.
“Sir, be of good cheer! For God’s sake, speak to us! Coming toward us are two very elegant and very beautiful women. One is surely your beloved!” Iwein crept through the undergrowth to see what was going on.
“I did not recognize, nor know them. Neither was my lover, who I love dearly.” Who was this, then? Iwein peeked out from beneath the brush to see who was speaking. He saw a man — clearly a knight by his vestments — giving testimony before a richly garbed court. Iwein watched as the women spoke.
“King, do have rooms prepared for us where our lady may be fittingly lodged; she is coming here to speak with you.” The court erupted into movement as squires came to stable their mounts, and the king ordered rooms prepared for the coming guest. Minutes later, Iwein saw a woman of great, perhaps unnatural beauty ride into the court astride a white palfrey. She radiated a kind of unnatural beauty, as if the source of her comeliness came from somewhere beyond the reach of humanity. Iwein’s own staring was interrupted by another shout from the knight on trial: “By my faith, this is my beloved! Now I don’t mind if they kill me, if she does not have pity on me. I am cured, by the very sight of her.”
Something about that declaration of single-minded devotion struck a chord deep within Iwein. He felt a disquiet that he couldn’t quite identify, as if the giant’s stone had become lodged in his stomach. He descended into his own mind, ruminating on his decisions over the past year.
The woman’s voice, clear and sweet as a bell, shook the knight with a lion from his musings. “— may he be exonerated by your barons!” At the lady’s directive, the court erupted into murmurings which grew into a collective roar for the knight’s release. “Let Lanval go free!” declared the king, standing from his position by his sullen wife.
Lanval, his shackles undone, bowed to the assembled men and moved to leave the trial. Iwein knew, in that moment, that he had to speak with the knight, if he was to address this...feeling in his gut.
Lanval was feeling somewhat odd, to put it mildly. To go from a deep depression, fearing that he would never again see his beautiful fairy queen, to riding behind her, his arms wrapped around her midriff and nose buried in her flowing hair, was an emotional turn around of the like he’d never experienced. Now, his queen was leading them to a new life, together. He closed his eyes, pressed his nose against the nape of her neck, and began to relax.
“What ho, fellow knight!” Lanval’s eyes snapped open at the intrusion, immediately alert for any who would bring his new happiness to a sudden and precipitous downfall. There, standing in front of their magnificent steed, was a man in full battle armor, waving his hands to stop their progress.
“I was hoping you might be able to help me out of a strange situation I’ve found myself in.” Ah, the man was a brigand, hoping to make some easy coin. Lanval would show him that coin earned dishonorably came with a steep price. He dismounted, drew his blade, and squared himself with their would-be attacker.
“Good sir, I mean you no harm.” Iwein cautioned, his fingers twitching to draw his own blade. “I found myself in this strange land, and heard your trial. I see that you are an honorable man, with an honorable amor, and...well, I beseech your aid.”
Lanval looked him up and down and, finding the other knight to be virtuous of form and honest in spirit, sheathed his blade. “Then ask what you would, fair knight. My lady and I must make haste, if we are to arrive where we need to be.”
At this, Iwein shook his head ruefully. “Ay, that’s precisely the problem. You see, I know not where I am. I was fighting a giant, he uttered some magical words, and the next thing I knew I was here, in this land. Praytell, have you knowledge of what sort of devil’s craft may have brought me here - and how I may return to my beloved?”
At this, Lanval appeared bewildered. A humble knight of the king’s realm, he had no experience or knowledge of magic. But his lover shifted on the palfrey, and spoke. “Your heart is troubled, knight with the lion.”
Iwein started, turning surprised eyes on the ethereal woman. “How did you—”
The woman raised a hand, forestalling his confusion. “The magical lines which connect our realities are well known to me. It is within my power to return you to your home.” Iwein began to smile, professing his thanks, when she continued. “But I cannot do so when you are as conflicted as this.” Iwein stopped mid-exultation, turning questioning eyes on the woman.
“The magic the giant used to send you here turned your own flaws against you. To return, you must overcome them. This is the illness you feel. Think: when did it start?” Iwein placed a hand over his stomach.
“It began...when Lanval proclaimed his devotion to you, on your arrival.” With furrowed brow, Iwein attempted to dissect the link. “I...I feel a longing for my own lover. Laudine.” The woman nodded sagely.
“That is the first step. Now, think: how have you mistreated her? What is different about your relationship with her, and mine with Lanval?” Iwein again set to thinking, his brow furrowed in deep concentration.
“I...I replaced her with a lion?” At the lady’s raised eyebrows and Lanval’s muffled laughter, Iwein hurried on. “I...I disrespected her. I did not value her as highly as I should, and my pride overcame my loyalty. I promised to fight for her maid Lunete, and yet I still accepted the challenge of defeating the giant.” The rock in his stomach began to feel less heavy. “I have to give Laudine the same respect and loyalty as Lanval gives you.”
The woman nodded, her hands beginning to glow brightly. “You are ready now. Go, knight with the lion, and forget not what you have learned here.” With a flash, Iwein was gone. Lanval turned to his lover, who extended a hand to him. He wordlessly took her hand and accepted her assistance as he returned to the saddle. The palfrey began to trot forward again, and shortly after they passed into Avalon, their last task on earth complete.
With a sound like the cracking of thunder, Lanval returned to the battlefield. Quickly taking in the situation he saw that only moments had passed. The giant was currently grappling with the lion, who was taking large chunks of flesh out of his back while only barely dodging the hefty punches thrown in retaliation.
When the giant saw his return, he roared in frustration. “Damned knight, how did you escape my magic?” He lunged for Iwein, who evaded. The giant swung with such ferocity that he bent forward with the blow and almost fell over. Iwein took his chance. He slashed through the giant’s chest—once—twice—before stabbing the massive beast, finally, through the heart. That was all there was to it.
The lion padded up next to Iwein, cleaning its mane. “So,” he said conversationally, “what happened?” Iwein inspected his bloody sword, thinking of what had transpired.
“I learned a great lesson from a knight and his lover. I think it is time that I paid my debts to mine.” with that, Iwein made haste to say goodbye to those he had freed from the giant, so that he could apply his newfound understanding of womanly needs — and, indeed, his responsibilities as a lover — to his life with Laudene.
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