The Nun's Dilemma

Lights up. The Abbess is in her office composing a letter at her desk. There is a knock on the door.

Abbess: Come in.

The Abbess continues to write. Maria opens the door and stands in the doorway hesitantly. After a few seconds of silence, the Abbess stops writing and looks up.

Maria: Good day, Mother.

Abbess: Good day, Maria! Please, do come in. How are you this afternoon?  

Maria: I am well, thank you, Mother. I greatly enjoyed today’s morning prayers. On a day this beautiful, it felt only appropriate to sing God’s praises.

Abbess: Yes, He has blessed us with a glorious spring this year.

Maria nods and hesitates.

Abbess: But, my child, you did not come here to discuss the weather, did you?

Maria: No, mother.

Hesistates

I wanted to… to thank you for looking after me all these years and for overseeing the match between my betrothed and myself.

Abbess: Maria, I have raised you these years, so I know by your face that this still cannot be your only reason for coming.

Maria: In truth, Mother, I have a delicate matter to discuss with you. I am not sure if it is right for me to continue onto the path of married life.

Abbess: My child, from whence comes this change of heart?

Maria: Mother, I mean no disrespect. I simply fear that I will not be able to serve God as fully as a married woman as I could should I remain at the Abbey as a nun. As Jerome said in his letter to Marcella, marriage is a distraction from one’s dedication to God (Select Letters of St. Jerome). If I am to live a truly godly life, I ought not get married.

Abbess: Well, it seems you’ve made your decision. Why do you seem so confused?

Maria: But, Mother, the Bible also says to obey my father, and my father bids me to marry this man! How can I follow the Ten Commandments but remain constant in my devotion to God?

Abbess: Ah, yes. Child, you are not alone in this struggle. Many young ladies such as yourself face this dilemma. Have faith. If you so desire, you can find a way to manage both.

Maria: I do not mean to sound ungrateful. To be sure, I have no doubt that the man with whom I was paired is a great match, or else my father would not have chosen him and you would not have allowed him to set foot in the abbey. I am excited – that is not in question - but I am nervous about my ability to reconcile my duties to my husband with my duties to God. How is it possible? My attention now must be split between two lords: my lord and husband and the Lord God. With my attention thusly split, I cannot possibly give to each what is due!

Pauses and collects herself.

Maria: Mother, please do not let my concern imply a lack of gratitude for your efforts and support in arranging a meeting between myself and my husband-to-be. I am very grateful. I only seek your guidance in being a godly Christian and a good wife. If it is possible to be both, I will do so gladly. But, if it proves impossible, I know not which path I should follow!

Abbess: My dear, set your heart at peace. Have you heard tell of Queen Mathilda? Just like you, she was noble-born and spent her youthful years in a monastery (The “Older” Life… 72-74). She too was dedicated to serving the Lord even as a wife and mother (The “Older” Life… 75-76). While she accepted the duties of married life, laying with her husband faithfully and giving birth to many children, she did not relinquish the practices of her religious upbringing (The “Older” Life… 75-76). It is said once her husband fell asleep, she would sneak down to the chapel and sleep, shivering, on the stone floor (The “Older” Life… 75-76). I cannot tell you the answer to how to be a good wife and godly Christian, you must determine this answer for yourself; however, I urge you to consider your main duties as each and find ways to serve both your lords faithfully and fittingly.

Maria: Thank you, Mother. Words cannot express the relief I feel at hearing of Mathilda’s success at performing these two roles simultaneously. I will continue to pray on this and strive to follow Mathilda’s example.

Maria starts to leave, then stops.

Maria: But, Mother, if I find myself struggling to serve God in my new life, may I still write to you and seek your guidance?

Abbess: Always, dear child, always…

Abbess opens her arms, and Maria runs a few steps to hug her.

Works Cited:

Anonymous, The “Older” Life of Mathilda. Trans., Sean Gilsdorf. Washington, D.C.: The Catholic University of America Press. Print.

Select Letters of St. Jerome. Trans., F. A. Wright. Cambridge, Massachusetts.: Harvard University Press. Print.