In creating a
modern version of Heloise’s first letter to Abelard, I chose to use the medium
of text messages. This alteration highlights several differences between the two
versions that affect what the reader takes away from reading each. One obvious difference in the modernized version is the
adoption of a modern technology, and style, of communication. After the “playing it cool”
stage, communication becomes more concise, straightforward, and blunt
(especially when someone is communicating from behind the mask of a screen).
This allowed me, as the modern Heloise, to be very straightforward and clear
about how I felt. Though the original Heloise by no means hid her feelings in
the letter, she sometimes played games in telling Abelard how she felt without
(always) stating it directly. In converting the letter to today’s speak, I
leaned on certain text conventions to emphasize certain things. All caps imply
yelling. Emojis emphasize emotion or imply sarcasm. Short sentences with
periods at the end make her seem angry or show emphasis, for example, she says,
“I wanted you to CHOOSE to love me. Always” (Screenshot 6). I also cut a lot of
the wordiness, anecdotes, and some of the repetition to condense and modernize the
letter.
Despite condensing
the letter to text format, Heloise’s series of texts was still very long.
Writing a long letter is acceptable, possibly because of the length of time it
takes a letter to get to the person and for a response to come back. Conversely,
in the texting world in which exchanges can happen in a matter of seconds,
sending a lot of texts in a row is socially unacceptable. At most, one could
send several short texts in a row and still be within the bounds of what
is considered socially acceptable. In my rendition of Heloise’s letter, I
boiled it down to 46 texts. This allowed me to preserve several aspects of
Heloise’s original letter, such as her thought process (points of argument as
well as the order) and the emotional back-and-forth guilt-trip. In both the
original letter and my modern version, she guilts him in several ways, saying
he owes it to the community at large, telling him that it’s his fault her life
turned out the way it did, reminding him of what they had, and citing his
correspondences with others and laying claim to the same amount of care and
respect, to name a few. In both versions, the length is in part owing to the
fact that she tries to many methods to goad him into responding. Unfortunately,
because of the convention to not “spam” someone’s phone, this number of texts
in a row makes Heloise come off as a little crazy and obsessive. Another
downside to this approach of mostly “translating” rather than completely
rewriting (though I did sometimes rewrite and condense) is that the texts
sometimes seemed a little unnatural. For instance, the first text says, “It’s
me.” This just seems weird and a little creepy because in the world of cell
phones Abelard would already know it was her texting him, and if he had lost
her number, “it’s me” would not enlighten him as to who she was.
The style of
speech also has its pros and cons. Some may think it odd that my modern Heloise
uses complete sentences and a style of speaking that is overly formal for
texts. That being said, I hoped that the formality would be understood in this
context as underscoring the separation between Abelard and Heloise. Further, it
can be read as an additional jab at Abelard. It’s like Heloise is saying,
“you’ve become such a stranger to me now that I feel the need to speak to you
formally”. I also had Heloise use a
semicolon (outside of the winky-smiley context) (screenshot 10). While this
is abnormal in texts, because the Heloise in my story is an academic—I imagined
her as a literature professor—the semicolon is in line with her backstory.
Along with her speech style, the semicolon also implies she may be unfamiliar
with texting conventions, as is common among older people. At the time they
wrote the letters, Abelard and Heloise were indeed older. I considered also
using frequent type-o’s and wrong autocorrects to point to Heloise’s age, but
as she was an academic, I felt that she would probably proofread her texts
before sending them. Type-o’s and wrong autocorrects would also have implied
that she sent the texts quickly, in succession, and likely in at a time of
heightened emotions without proofreading. It would then appear that that she
didn’t put time into thinking through the texts and crafting her argument,
which is far from what reads as a carefully and thoughtfully constructed
letter.
Were I to write
this again, I would consider using timestamps on the texts. This would show if
she took a little time between the texts to think, if she tried one guilt-trip
and waited a couple of days before trying the next, or if she wrote and sent all
of the texts one after the other. Unfortunately, it is impossible to know how
she approached writing her original letter—if there were drafts, if she wrote
it one piece as a time, etc. So this approach would require me to take further
creative license over Heloise’s thought process and backstory. Another thing I
would do differently is that I would insert more jokes linking it back to the
original, like Heloise’s comment “pardon my French”, literally referring to her
use of a curse word, but alluding to the fact that the original Abelard and
Heloise were French (screenshot 1). I would also consider boiling it down
further to just the underlying sentiment. Something like “Hey, I miss you. I
know we went through a lot, but this isn’t fair of you to ignore me like this.
I’ll never stop loving you, but I’m fine with just texting as friends if it
means keeping you in my life. Please stop ignoring me.” Still, I don’t know
that this is the most effective approach as it loses a lot of what I was able
to preserve by using 46 texts.
A thoughtful and useful overview of how your original post developed, and some of the stylistic and strategic decisions behind it. I have to say that your comments on Heloise's texting style hit a bit to close to home with *this* older technology user!
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