Christianity in the eleventh to twelfth centuries CE redefined what it meant to be Christian in several aspects of life. If the Great Schism isn’t enough to point to the turmoil among the religious, then perhaps it can be signaled by the lack of consensus over the relationship between living a holy, God-fearing, Christ-loving life and sex.
The Song of Songs, a unique set of poems within the Old Testament, approaches love in a positive manner, emphasizing the pleasures that can be gained through love. The relationship between two lovers is represented in a glorified manner, setting the foundation for what worldly love in a holy life should be. Or perhaps not.
In a series of sermons, Bernard of Clairvaux takes the time to reframe the Song of Songs (or at least a part of it). In the opening few sermons, he deals with one line found in the passages in particular: “Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth.” While one would assume that this line simply refers to the physical sign of affection between two people, Bernard goes out of his way to rebuke this notion. What is seemingly the bond between two lovers is in fact a representation of Jesus Christ, the joining of man and God: “...the kiss however...is a person that is formed by both, none other than ‘the one mediator between God and mankind, himself a man, Christ Jesus” (346). While it’s reasonable to look for a deeper meaning in the passage, such a stark difference between the apparent themes of the poems and Bernard’s interpretation frankly doesn’t align with the apparent meaning of the original poems.
Bernard’s interpretation also leaves the reader with the question of how love fits into faith. No longer is there a Biblical text representing worldly love and union. Instead, what could have been a guideline is now the victim of a massive backtracking, changing the poem from the story of lovers to a message about God.
Perhaps there is a guideline for worldly love in a holy life in the Letters of Saint Paul? Or not. The Letters of Saint Paul to the Corinthians serve to further complicate the relationship between marriage, sexuality, and the church. In the letters, while married life can be just as “holy” as a life of virginity, it is largely a means to curb temptation. Marriage is permissible, but only while serving its purpose of stopping the worldly temptation of “sexual immorality”. A last resort of sorts.
We also see the expectation of Christians, especially women, to remain chaste. While sex during marriage is permitted (under a certain set of conditions), virginity, especially as a sacrifice or devotion to God, is honored and greatly preferred over marriage. “To the unmarried and the widows,” says St. Paul in chapter 6 of his letters, “I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am.”
The Life of Christina of Markyate honors Christina for her decision to devote herself to God and remain a virgin. She is praised for her rejections of worldly love despite several different occasions of temptation. Christina is revered as a maiden of God, and is cited as having Jesus and the mother Mary interceding to protect her and her virginity on several occasions, including when Jesus (perplexingly, and somewhat horrifyingly) came down in the form of a child and made spiritual love with the virgin herself to curb her sexual desires. The impression is left that sex is something which one needs to be protected from or something which requires holy counseling to overcome, as with Christina.
In The “Older” and “Later” Life of Queen Mathilda, Mathilda is also honored for her decision regarding sex. While she herself did not remain a virgin, she is often regarded as being uninterested in worldly love. At one point, it is said that Mathilda preferred being in the church over her husband’s bed at night, and that is how she would spend the majority of her evenings (76). As Mathilda’s story is presented, rejecting indulgence in a worldly marriage over faith is the example to live by.
These works do not take a unified stance on the best way to experience love and also live a holy life. Reassurance over the holiness of marriage is constantly rebuked by praise of virginity or lack of interest in sex. At one point, marriage is acceptable, and love is to be coveted. At another, it’s a last resort to avoid sin, and virginity is the more honorable way of life. Looking at the constant backtracking and changes of opinion is mind boggling. It appears to be a messy coverup of a topic which remains no true consensus. So, the question remains: how does one walk this line of sinful love and Godly worship?
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